May 15, 2008
"How low can you go," my husband asked the furniture sales clerk.
"What do you mean, this price is rock bottom already," responded the salesman.
Meanwhile, I am hiding behind a potted Ficus tree somewhere in the gymnasium-size furniture showroom in utter chagrin and unending embarrassment.
The price haggling between these two had been going on awhile. They were beginning to look like two bull elks locking horns.
The salesman continued, "Hey, it is only money and you cannot take it with you. You know those caskets don't have side pockets on them."
"I'll make you a deal," my husband retorted. "If you were to sell it today, would you take $200 less that the sticker price for the kitchen table and four chairs and the bedroom set combined--one price, one package deal?"
The furniture-shopping excursion was an attempt to help our recently graduated son find apartment furniture. Now the son was strolling away nonchalantly trying to pretend he did not know either of us, me hiding behind the tree and his Dad growing increasingly boisterous as he moved in for the slaughter.
If up to me I quietly observed, I am more interested in the shopping experience itself rather than the competition. This war of the cave men is no fun!
We women love to feel the furniture, sit on it, match it to paint swatches, and consider accessories that may be critically important to the finished look of the room.
Not a man, not a hunter.
It was then I realized that the battle going on between these two males was all about winning and making a quick, decisive kill, not about the furniture itself.
"Well, I will have to ask my manager. Besides you are already getting the sale price," continued the salesman.
After several moments passed, my husband's adversary returned with the final verdict.
"OK. We can sell it to you for fifty dollars less than the sale price but that is it, as low as I can go."
Thinking we were near the end of the bartering, I was disheartened beyond measure when my husband replied in a firm, I've-got-you-now voice, "What about this ad in the paper I have right here that says buy one item, get the second one 30% off?"
"Does not apply to sets," said the sales guy quicker than a duck on a June bug. "The table and chairs are a set and so is the headboard, bed frame, and chest. Sorry, you cannot use the coupon on this."
Whereupon, my husband did not miss a beat and said, "Throw in free shipping and we've got a deal."
They shook hands, and I have no idea who really won. It was all about the dance and the struttin' anyway.
Next time, I am buying online.
